Title: Your Boundaries, My Limit
Fandom: Uta no Prince-sama
Summary: Before Haruka brought a new light into the lives of rivals, Hijirikawa Masato and Jinguji Ren, they had to keep an old secret in the dark.
Warning: ANGST SEVERE ANNNNNNNNGST! Masato is a bit of a terrible dom. Not terrible as in intense, but terrible in that he's genuinely angry and has no idea what he's doing. Absolutely not nice.
Though the first offense was the simple fact that the infuriating blond existed, the second offense was the dart board.
They'd only been in their new dorm room five minutes. Though Hijirikawa hadn't noticed it to begin with, he was hyper aware of it the first time a dart flew past his head.
"You've already claimed your side." Masato reminded his roommate as he silently gazed up at him from the small cushion he'd placed on the floor. It was a bit of comfort while he waited for his bed to arrive.
"Yes, my lily, but the room is longer, this way. Putting the board near the window presents more of a challenge."
Masato's eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure if the challenge Ren referred to was the distance of the throw, or the arguments that were sure to ensue. He didn't like looking up at Ren from the floor but refused to let the other boy know he could make him move. So, he sat with narrowed eyes and a fist clenched around his paperback. Staring.
"Move it. Move it, now."
With a labored sigh and grumbling commentary on how Hijirikawa hadn't loosened up at all, Ren did as he was told. Though it was the first time in years that Masato had the opportunity to scold Ren, he was already tired of it. Why Shining Saotome had made them roommates, Masa had no idea.
The headmaster claimed it was because their families had insisted them arriving before the start of the term and insisted that they both have the absolute best lodging on campus. He’d boasted to both sets of parents (separately, of course) that the suite was to be modified for student accommodation for the very first time. The oversized room with ensuite bathroom and foyer had been lovingly built for a former professor with extremely specific tastes. The out of the way location was to minimize the noise the man had to deal with and allow for him to entertain guests from off-campus that would want to avoid interactions with students while coming or going.
Masato wasn't entirely convinced that the aging popstar-turned-producer wasn't somehow meddling in his affairs.
The entire school was a metropolitan paradise. Every accommodation was the absolute best. There was no reason for him to –share- a room with Jinguji Ren in an isolated part of the faculty quad unless the headmaster –wanted- them to fight. What juicy blackmail could the headmaster collect if the two boys assumed they’d never be heard!?
He had checked all the corners and light fixtures for cameras the minute they arrived. He didn’t see anything suspicious, but had to admit to himself that he didn’t exactly know what to look for.
The third offense involved Ren's saxophone. After ripping the dart board from the wall and carefully schooling the rage from his features long enough to lovingly place the packed saxophone on his own desk, Ren unpacked the instrument under the pretense of cleaning it. Masato returned his attention to his book. However, he couldn't help but keep a wary eye on his former friend.
Sure enough, after a silence that only lasted ten minutes, Ren sat his tools aside and lifted the instrument to his lips.
"No." Masa firmly stated before the first note could be blown.
"Did I drag in a piano to terrorize you? You will walk to the practice rooms like the rest of us."
"My lily seems to believe he's my new father. How amusing." Ren responded, his tone and smirk bleeding feigned amusement. Hijirikawa knew the boy was angry because he used to know the boy so well. He saw the slight flush on Ren's face and the throb on his temple. Sure, the blond was a fantastic liar, but the lies only worked when they were pretty and the recipient was in love. Masa knew that all too well. Ren would be king of the school by the end of day one. Asshole.
Much to Masato's relief, the other boy stood and left the room. The pretense was practicing. After all, he had the instrument with him. Masa knew it was so he didn't have to put up with him anymore. Ren hated him more than ever and Masa was determined not to give a damn.
How would he survive the year?
The third offense was Ren's wardrobe. Masa didn't find his style abhorrent. He actually quite admired the ensembles Jinguji carefully arranged. It was the sheer amount of -stuff- the man owned that drove Masato up and over walls.
Masa's bed arrived just before nightfall and he was quick to climb in and fall asleep. Both of the boys had arrived just after dawn and spent most of the early morning moving. Though most of the lifting was done by hired movers, they had done their fair share of running to and fro. While Masa spent his freetime putting away his clothes, Ren left his own piled on his bed for most of the day.
When the blond returned, Masa's eyes cracked long enough to see the boy shove the entire pile onto the floor and strip off the few pieces he was wearing. He would have made a disgusted noise at the fact that Ren, apparently, slept in nothing but fitted briefs, but in the half-daze of sleepiness he couldn’t make his lips move or his mind lie.
The following morning, he found Jinguji's v-neck and sock underneath his own bed. Not to mention the pile had slumped over and resembled a fungus of fabric that was determined to grow across the room and devour all Masa's belongings.
“Ren.” He stated firmly at the lump in the middle of Ren’s bed.
He waited for a response.
“REN.” He was louder this time and he saw the lump move just a bit.
“FUCKING. REN. WAKE. UP!!!” This time the rant was accompanied by him ripping the covers from Ren’s sleeping form.
Their eyes met instantly and neither of them had had time to hide their shock. However, there had still been enough time for Masa to register that Ren was completely naked and a pair of briefs had flown out of the sheets.
“Language, dear lily.” Ren moaned out as he stretched, trying to look unperturbed by Ren’s outburst and unashamed of his own erection.
“Don’t… call me…” Ren wanted to sound bitchy, but he was practically stuttering as he watched Ren’s cock twitch and decided just to stop talking.
“Will you wake me up like this, every morning?” Ren asked as he finally swung his long legs over the side of his bed and stood, stretching again. He pushed his pelvis forward more than he probably needed to and Masa finally averted his eyes, blue hair fanning out and settling to hide his eyes.
“Only if I wake to find your clothes under my bed.”
Masa opened his eyes when he heard footsteps. He was frozen by the idea that Ren was approaching him and when he saw that the boy was nowhere in sight, he had no idea whether he’d been dreading contact or yearning for it.
“I think I need a broom. I can’t reach my briefs. I think that’s your doing, though.”
Masa turned to get a good look at Ren bent over at the edge of his bed. Without thinking, he reached down to give his growing cock a painful squeeze. His pajama pants weren’t very thick and there’s no way he could hide an erection. He couldn’t claim it was the result of some illicit dream or that it had some biological, nighttime cause. Ren would know it was him. He’d gloat. He’d tease.
“You won’t blame this on me. I suggest you find a broom.”
“Aye…” Ren was turning around to stand up, but paused to give an open, and practically salacious look at Masa’s crotch. His eye-level gaze made sure Masa wasn’t able to rationalize that he was looking at something else.
Masa didn’t bother saying anything or watching Ren’s naked form cross back to his own side of the room, but he did look down to confirm what Ren had perked his brow at.
Definitely not flaccid, the bulge in Masa’s pants showed a perfect outline of his cock with an obvious spot of moisture at the tip. Fuck. He refused to act embarrassed and simply made his bed as if nothing had happened.
He did manage to not look at Ren for the rest of the morning and even avoided his gaze as they left for lunch.
On move-in day, neither of the boys had realized how empty the school was the week before classes started. They'd eaten breakfast at home, lunch with their families at nearby restaurants and both had skipped dinner in favor of the few snacks they'd packed. The cafeteria was gorgeous, but empty. When they approached the food counters, they spotted a sign that pointed to their right. Both looked over to see the door to the nearby labyrinth open. Ren murmured the word "interesting..." as Masa sighed and rolled his eyes. He was hungry. He didn't want to work for his lunch.
Sure enough, there was a framed sign on a petite post directing them into the labyrinth. No words of instruction were seen. Just a picture of a sandwich.
Masa turned on his heel and Ren grabbed his arm.
"My lily, I know you don't have any food left."
"I suspect that's at least 30% your fault."
"...I only ate one biscuit."
"You stole it."
"In any case, you have no food. Let's go grab some lunch."
"Let GO of me," Masa insisted when he finally thought to yank his forearm out of Jinguji's grip, "and... just mind your own business."
"We agreed to follow the rules of the academy for this week. You can't leave campus, either."
"I'll just come back for dinne..." his stomach growled angrily as if protesting his decision.
Masa followed him into the hedge maze.
Masa immediately chose the direction opposite Ren, but they frequently crossed one another’s paths. Masa broke into a mad dash, annoyed by Ren’s casual saunter. After running by Ren countless times, the saxophone player finally reached out and grabbed him by the wrist and told him to stop.
The uncanny seriousness in Ren’s voice is what made him listen. He didn’t even flinch away when Ren leaned in close, but felt a nauseating wave of disappointment when the taller boy didn’t kiss him.
“Listen…” Ren whispered, “…and try not to argue, please.”
Masa nodded as the hand eased up to his bicep and gripped tighter, pulling him closer.
“We’re going in circles. There are no other paths. I’ve been mapping it on my phone. We’re walking around in a heart-shaped jungle.”
“But the labyrinth looks like a gigantic Crest, not a hea…” Masa started to respond in his regular voice.
“Shhh!~ But that’s exactly my point!” Ren responded, insisting that Masa either shut-up or whisper. “The rest of the maze is cut off. That means the hedge must move.”
“So, we’re looking for a switch?”
“No. That means we’re looking for the guy watching us to open it up.”
“You mean… Saotome might be watching us?” Masa asked, his heart dropping into his belly as his fears are confirmed.
“Might be? Pfft. Is. He –is- watching us. Or at least someone that works for him.”
“So, does he want us to beg?”
“I doubt it. Just follow my lead.”
“But what are you going to d…” Masa’s whisper died off as Ren’s hand slid down his arm and their fingers locked. The blond pulled away from their almost embrace and he was sideswiped by Jinguji’s gorgeous smile. Directed at him. In all its hypnotizing beauty.
“I’m glad you’re finally wanting to work together, Maaaaa-kun.”
Masa’s heart throbbed painfully. He hadn’t heard that tone or that… nickname in years. He hadn’t felt Ren’s hand in ages. It was larger & stronger. His fingers were long and elegant. His heartbeat was pulsing against Masa’s skin. Masa couldn’t manage to close his lips or stop staring at Ren. He nodded.
To their left, a hedge lowered into the ground, revealing their lunch for two. A ridiculous spread on gilded platters. Ren perked a brow at the plush bench they were obviously expected to share. He murmured something about the size of it, Masa only really catching the phrases “thighs touching” and “despite narrow hips.”
Masa felt lost when Ren let go of his hand and started walking around the oversized table in front of the tiny seat.
“Have a seat. I’m sure you’re exhausted.” Jinguji offered as he dipped his hand into the first thing that caught his eye and licked it off his fingers.
Masa averted his eyes to keep from staring at Ren’s offensive tongue. He struggled with the disappointment at not being able to thigh-to-thigh with Ren and his thankfulness at being allowed to rest his tired legs without arguing over the bench. He fought his pride and took a seat. After all, part of him wanted to stand just because Masa had offered to let him sit.
He was always so difficult.
He caught a glimpse of Ren’s shocked/amused look as he took his seat. It made him smirk a bit. He supposed simply surprising Ren with his passiveness would have to suffice.
They ate in silence and when Masa stood to leave, the hedges opened up before them, making a straight path back to the cafeteria doors.
Back in their room, Masa finally started to relax. He’d survived an intimate & isolated lunch with Ren without getting annoyed or… well... any of the other things Ren made him feel.
Ren, however, seemed to be more aware of the fact that he was still capable of making Masa feel a bit distracted.
The fourth offense was Ren’s phone.
The careless blond dropped it on the floor before lying down to watch a television show on his laptop. It slid dangerously close to what Masa considered “his’ side of the room the moment it fell. Only one Jpop ringtone accompanied by vibration was needed to make the infernal device jiggle its way toward Masa’s bed.
Masa slammed his paperback onto his thigh and glared at the laptop that obscured Ren’s face.
“Come. Get. It.” Masa insisted.
Masa peeked around the laptop propped on his chest and glanced at the phone before meeting Masa’s eyes.
“Come get what, baby?”
“Your stupid fucking phone.” Masa murmured before hiding behind the book that he suddenly realized couldn’t have been big enough to his his blush.
Without further comment or incident, Ren retrieved his phone and commented that dinner would be soon before walking out of their shared room.
How were they expected to get along for an entire school year!?
Dinner was less of an event than lunch. The sign in the cafeteria pointed toward a staircase that led to a taped-off ballroom. The framed sign on its petite post indicated a patio overlooking a lake. They could see their dinner through the glass doors, but the doors didn’t unlock until Jinguji grabbed a handle, took a slight bow and told Masa “After you, my friend.”
“How do you know Saotome so well?” Masa asked as they took their seats on the available bench. Their thighs did touch, but Masa thanked his lucky stars that he didn’t have to look Ren in the face. His nose turned up as he noticed Ren sticking his finger into the only custard on the table. He was still going to eat half of it and Ren could just shove it. Ren’s finger couldn’t squick him. He’d… They’d… Masa flinched against the memories.
“What are you talking about?” Ren asked, between a completely salacious lick of an index finger and a moan.
“You know how to unlock all these little puzzles of his.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ren responded, the same finger going back into the custard. Okay, it was getting a bit gross despite the erotic moans that Masa secretly admitted he liked.
“Shall I whisper? He’s going to watch us all year, anyway. We can’t be who we aren’t, forever.”
Ren turned to look at him and Masa caught his expression from the corner of his eye as he neatly cut into his fillet.
Said expression was… suspicious, as if Ren suspected a double-meaning in Masa’s words. In immediate hindsight, Masa realized what Ren thought he meant. He ignored the blond but desperately hoped he’d stop the moaning, anyway.
“Who… exactly are we?” Ren asked. He hadn’t made another move toward the custard and hadn’t turned away.
On the bench, turning to look at Masa meant they were entirely too intimate. Entirely too close. Their eyes met because Masa refused to seem weak. He was suddenly aware of the very essence of Ren. Heartbeat and breath. He couldn’t look away and his lips parted slightly as if looking at Ren made it hard for him to breathe, normally.
“We are classmates.” Masa stated. He felt Ren’s hand graze his shoulder from it’s perch on the back of the bench. When had the blond put his arm there?
“We are roommates, even.” Ren supplied, “…but I think you know that’s not what I’m asking.”
“There’s nothing deeper than…”
Ren’s brow furrowed.
“Rivals, sure. We’re from families that make it that way. ‘Enemies’ is a bit of a strong…”
“Tomato. ToMAHto.” Ren responded. He liked seeing Ren upset. After all, Ren had so reveled in breaking him. Destroying him.
“So, nothing… deeper?” the blond asked. He’d began to pull his façade back together. His face looked relaxed and amused. Masa could almost sense feigned pity, as if Masa had been the one cut by a single word only moments before. No. Ren’s words would never cut Masa, again. Nothing would.
“I only meant that we can’t pretend to be a team. We shouldn’t be forced to play nice just to get our meals.”
“I think it’s a fitting metaphor, though.”
“What are you talking about, now?”
“Idols fake everything. All the time. They smile and kiss and pretend to be one big happy, famous family just to pay the bills. To… “get their meals.” If you will.”
“Well, looks like you’ve found your calling.” Masa said as he stood to leave. He threw his over-starched napkin into the custard that Ren had desecrated.
Then, without thought but instant regret, he dumped the whole dish into Ren’s lap and muttered something about him finding someone to moan & lick it off for him.
He stormed off and was on the first landing of the staircase before he was pressed against a wall with an arm pulled behind his back.
“You fucker.” Ren growled against the side of his face. He obviously couldn’t articulate his anger. The way he was holding Masa, the shorter boy couldn’t tell if he was being punished or molested. Somehow, both were arousing.
It was when he realized he was becoming aroused that he finally thought to try and push Ren away.
“Stop it. What’s wrong with you?”
“You act like nobody else has feelings.” Ren growled, his lips close enough to graze Masa’s skin. His voice was still angry, but angry people didn’t –behave- that way. Did they?
“You’re the one that fucks with people’s feelings.” Masa tried to push Ren away, again. The side of his face that was against the stone wall hurt. His growing cock hurt. He didn’t want Ren to know. He didn’t want Saotome to catch them. Not that they were doing anything. Not that they would ever do anything, again.
“We’re not enemies. We’re not.” Ren insisted. Masa’s mind reeled as he registered wetness on the hand Ren had pulled between them. His other hand was pinned against the wall over his head. He shuddered at the idea that Jinguji had already… then he remembered the custard.
“I’ll never forgive you.”
“I don’t need forgiveness for this.”
Ren let go. Knowing Masa wouldn’t follow him. Masa wouldn’t beg. Masa wouldn’t insist. He simply sauntered away, dripping the custard that wasn’t smeared on Masa’s back and hand.
Without thinking, Masa licked the sweet dew from his index finger as he watched Ren walk away.
He could remember the blond cradling him. Both of them barely teens but Jinguji had been around the world in more ways than one. He’d brought his knowledge back to Masa with smiles, platitudes, and kisses. They were going to denounce their families, conquer the world, and love each other forever.
Then Jinguji took one more trip around the world and suddenly he was a grown-up and Masa just a kid that hung on his every word. Masa was a despicable person. He was a disposable person. Less than a person. Ren had said so many hurtful words. Words that had cut deep and made wounds that wouldn’t heal. He’d been Masa’s only friend and, so far, only love.
Not that Masa loved him, still. He’d never love again.
Masa returned to the room and ignored Ren as he grabbed his robe and locked himself in the bathroom. He needed to get out of his dirty clothes and didn’t need to fight about how they’d gotten dirty in the first place.
He didn’t need to fight, anymore.
He knew he was lost. So, in the shower, with the water loud and steaming, he thought about what it had been like that first time. The moment when Jinguji Ren had turned their boyish, rough, & tumbling wrestling match into something that involved tongues, bare skin, and roaming hands. The first time all the tension between them made sense. The first time he’d spilled himself down Ren’s throat and watched with fascination and disgust as Ren swallowed with a smile in his eyes.
Ah, but that Ren was too bright & shining. He was too young and full of life. Somehow, Masa had come to obsess over the dead Ren. The Ren that was always in a scandal with some miscellaneous girl. The Ren that he saw miserably glowering over his brother’s shoulder during press conferences. The Ren that had pressed him up against the wall in a fit of madness.
He realized as his seed joined the swirl of soap and debris circling the drain, that he got off on Jinguji Ren’s misery. He had been made to hurt and any opportunity to gloat or retaliate was delicious.
Jinguji wasn’t feigning sleep when Masa left the restroom. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, nude. Stroking himself. He only leaned back and spread his legs wider when Masa looked at him. He smirked.
“I heard you in there and couldn’t help but remember what it was like to have your pretty face between my thighs.”
Ignoring his roommate, Masa pulled on his sweatpants, hung his robe, and crawled into bed. Determined not to show how much being ignored annoyed him, Ren unabashedly continued, his hand and cock making wet noises as he rubbed himself to completion.
Masa silently clenched a fist in anger as some girl’s name tumbled out of Ren’s mouth. He hoped the movement went unnoticed. Ren was doing it, again. Driving him mad with jealousy.
“You can like both. I’m sure you can.” Masa had pleaded with Ren, years ago.
Ren had just told him about the girls. All the girls he’d been with. He told Masa how much he loved their softness and their breasts. He told Masa that he didn’t love him. That he –couldn’t- love him or any man.
Ren sneered down at him. Seated on the floor, Masa leapt to his feet, grabbing Ren’s shoulders and begging his friend not to look at him that way.
“I don’t like you. I never liked you.” Ren responded, his hand still fumbling out a txt to some girl as he pulled out of Masa’s almost-embrace.
“Don’t lie to me. The things you said were…”
“The same things I say to everybody. The same things that were said to me. It’s just what people do.”
“Ren, you don’t have to lie to me, like this. We’re friends.”
“We –were- friends, Hijirikawa. Then you had to go and make things weird.”
“ME! You’re the one that taught me about all this… this… stuff. You touched me first.”
“We were friends! Friends… learn together. But it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a game.”
“Fucking me at every opportunity and telling me how much you lov…”
“SHHHH! What if someone hears us!?”
“WHAT IF SOMEONE HEARS US! That was the point, wasn’t it? That we’d tell the world, someday? Where did your bravery go?” Masa’s eyes narrowed at his friend, “Did your father put you up to this?”
“I don’t need my father to tell me when something is wrong. I don’t need him to point out how disgusting this is.”
“Ah, so your stupid brother with his politics and Western attitu…”
“Don’t you insult my brother! My father and brother don’t know. They’ll never know!”
“I could tell them. I could tell everyone.” Madness flickered in Masa’s eyes. He smiled at Ren, knowing that for the first time since they’d met, he had some power over this blond god.
“Nobody would believe you.” Ren responded coolly, not showing how disturbed he was by Masa’s sudden change. Masa had always been so subservient. Ren didn’t know this Masa. This suddenly wicked and trapped creature.
That made two of them. Masa had never known Ren to give up something he wanted. He’d never known Ren to follow the rules. Perhaps… Masa wasn’t what Ren wanted.
“I just… I would never do that to you, you know.” Masa responded, reaching again for Ren’s shoulders, arms, something. But Ren pulled away.
“You would. You’re sick. You –like- doing…” Ren let his voice trail off, remembering the party in the other room. “You disgust me and I’m sure you disappoint your whole family. How dare you try to bring me down with you. We’ll never be together, you idiot. I’ve never cared about you.”
“I pitied you.” Ren turned away from him to say that. “We were kids and I pitied you. I’ll never waste my time with you, again.”
Masa sank back to the floor. He was there for hours. Staring at a blank wall as if it would eventually tell him why Ren had been so cruel.
He knew he’d live the rest of his life never knowing.
Masa woke up, realizing he’d relived the entire sickening ordeal in a dream. Ren was fast asleep on top of his blankets, nude & erect as if nothing ever bothered him. Disgusted by his memories, Masa didn’t even take a moment to savor the sight. He trudged into the bathroom to prepare for his day.
It was when he left the bathroom that he noticed the used tissues. Neatly tucked underneath his bed, just near the edge, they were arranged to show that they were deliberately placed.
Face washed, hair styled, and body dressed, Masa felt fortified. He knew it was bait, but Ren was about to catch a lot more than he bargained for.
Whether Ren was sleeping or simply pretending to, Masa didn’t care. He climbed on top of the nude boy and pinned his shoulders. The Ren that made music as a hobby couldn’t push off the Masa that beat out years of frustration in martial arts.
The blond smiled up at him, but Masa didn’t smile back.
“You want my attention, but I want you to know that you don’t know what you’re asking for. I’m not the same little boy you chewed up and spit out.”
Ren’s smile lost it’s sheen, but he refused to let it go.
“Whatever. You know what I want.” Ren teased as he tried to move his hips to get a bit of friction between them.
Masa’s knees on either side of Ren’s hips kept him from moving enough for satisfaction.
“I mean it, Jinguji. All I’ll ever have in mind, forever, is vengeance.”
“Then make me pay.”
Somehow, that was the phrase needed to unlock everything Masa had held in for years. He started by biting down on Ren’s shoulder and from there the abuse never stopped.
Like a flashback tainted by new hatred, he fucked the naked idol without removing his own clothes. It was hard, selfish, and far too fast. When he was done, he unceremoniously dropped Ren’s hips and walked away, checking his pants for smears as he tucked himself back in.
“Get your napkins away from my bed. It’s disgusting.” He commanded over his shoulder before leaving the room.
Having shown up alone for breakfast, the obstacle of tangled vines peeled away from the courtyard gate with no trouble.
Ren arrived just as Masa was leaving and though he tried to look his blue-haired rival in the eye, Masa only turned up his nose and left.
He didn’t know how he could avoid someone that lived less than fifteen feet away from him with no barriers in between, but somehow he would manage.
When he returned to the room, Masa noticed one of Ren’s saxophone reeds underneath the edge of his bed.
He grabbed the blond by the hair and pushed him to the ground the moment the door opened after breakfast.
Walking Ren across the floor by his ponytail, he nearly pressed his nose into the tiny rectangle of wood.
“Pick it up.”
“You’ve got me in an awkward…”
“With your teeth.”
Masa couldn’t see Ren’s face but could almost hear the smile in his voice as he responded with a “yes, sir.”
Ren licked the reed up and tried to turn his head to show Masa, but Masa didn’t want to see his face. There was something behind the high of the power trip. Something behind the lust coursing through his veins. Something like guilt.
As he pushed Ren’s head back around to keep him from looking back, Masa undid his own belt and ripped the low-slung sweatpants from Ren’s hips.
“Oh, yes, -sir-“ Ren cooed as his ass was slapped. Masa’s digging his fingernails into the red welt did nothing but illicit a moan.
How had Masa developed such a sadistic streak? How had Ren come to enjoy such cruel attention? How were they so fucking perfect for each other and destined to be apart!?
Masa spent himself again and as he fell forward across Ren’s back, took another opportunity to mark him with a bite on the neck. Ren hissed, but didn’t pull away. He was still jerking himself as Masa pulled out and moaned out something akin to “master” as he came on the floor.
“Eww. Clean that up.” Masa demanded.
Filling Masa with both awe and disgust, Ren moved back and slid his tongue through the mess on the floor.
“You make me ill.” Masa half-lied as he retreated to the bathroom.
To earn their dinner, Ren gave Masa’s ass a playful slap. Instantly, a food-laden table rose out of the floor of the empty classroom the signs had directed them to.
“How much do you think he watches us?” Ren asked casually as he molested the evening custard with an index finger.
Masa glared silently over his tea.
“Do you think he knows how you treat me?”
Masa rolled his eyes and refused to comment. It was hard to remember that just the day before, they hadn’t touched each other in years.
They spent the next two days in a cycle of crime & punishment. Ren threw something underneath Masa’s bed to get a rise out of him, and paraded around nude the entire time they were in their room.
Masa’s attacks started to illicit violent responses. Ren was careful to avoid his friend’s face, but they were both forced to wear long-sleeves to hide their bruises from the ghostly staff that they never saw in person.
Their love-making was passionate, but verged on dangerous more often than not.
Friday, the boys took their exams with the rest of the students. Both knew it was a formality, but did their duties without comment.
Ren sauntered back into their shared room obviously high from all the attention he’d gotten during the day. Masa’s father had abandoned him the week before, but Jinguji’s family had met him off-campus for breakfast and he took their limo back to school. He was all the other students could talk about and Masa had broken two pencils and damaged a pen while trying to school his rage.
Why were people so superficial!? Couldn’t they tell Jinguji Ren was a self-centered asshole? Would they care even if they could. Masa wondered if he really gave a damn.
That evening, they both spent hours at their respective desks, organizing all the paperwork they’d been given and making sure they had all the correct forms to turn in after the next day’s assembly. Formalities just like the exam, but both their families refused to have rumors about favored treatment surfacing.
Masa was rather dedicated to putting his notebooks together, but wasn’t surprised when he heard Jinguji’s pencil fall to the floor. He looked up in time to see the blond kick it across the room where it settled just underneath the foot of his bed.
“Pick it up.”
“With my teeth?” Ren asked as he left his desk.
“With your toes.”
Ren’s head tilted as he tried to figure out why Masa’s tone had softened, but he did as instructed.
“Lift it to my lips.” Masa continued.
Ren stood on one foot and did as he was told. The eraser grazed Masa’s lip and the blue-haired boy took it between his teeth and slid it from
between Ren’s toes. Dropping the pencil, Masa took Ren’s foot into both hands and kissed his largest toe.
From there, the kisses edged up to Ren’s knee, where he began to nibble his way up the taller boy’s thigh. Ren’s cock made an obscene tent in the front of his loose sweatpants and he moaned gratefully when Masa slid a hand underneath the now folded pants-leg to grip him through his underwear.
“You’ll ride me, tonight.” Masa instructed as he let go, stood, and started pulling off his clothes.
Ren smiled but Masa knew he was still confused.
Masa stretched out on the bed and was pleased when Ren climbed on top of him without comment.
“No, face me.” Masa insisted as Ren perched with his back to him.
Full-blown confusion could barely maintain a “knowing smile” but Ren’s face persisted.
As they made love, Masa stilled Ren’s hips and asked him to go slower. He gripped harshly but kept his nails in check. He said words like “down.” And “open.” To make sure Ren’s eyes were always on his face.
He stilled his own hips to jerk Ren to completion before emptying himself into the blond’s ass.
When they were done, Ren cleaned them both with a warm rag fromt eh bathroom and crawled into bed with Masa without asking permission. He slept or feigned sleep almost instantly. That was the first time they’d ever remained near each other after sex. Both were usually so eager to get away.
Masa allowed it.
The following morning, Ren woke to a fully dressed Masa speaking in business tones on his cellphone. Something needed to be done by one in the afternoon and Masa was willing to pay dearly for it.
The blond smiled up at his blue-haired friend and Masa let the left corner of his mouth lift in greeting.
“The assembly is in thirty minutes. Time to go pretend we’ve never seen Saotome before.”
“Ooooooooh Woooooooooooooow.” Ren showed Masa his fake awestruck voice. “Am I any good?”
“The best faker I know.” Masa commented before leaving the room.
Ren couldn’t tell if Masa had been joking and it hurt a bit.
When Ren returned to their dorm room, he found that half the room had been rearranged. Masa’s entire half was on raised, wooden platform. Just looking, it seemed to add about a foot of height to that side of the room. Masa’s bed was no longer a stylish piece of furniture with a carved headboard. It was just a thick mattress with down bedding.
Masa had always been into traditional practices, but Ren had never expected him to bring his father’s decorating sense into their dorm room. The drastically different bed situation would change their game.
As if reading his mind, Masa exited the bathroom nude with wet hair.
He gave Ren a good minute to look him up and down. Then, he walked over to the blond and placed a hand on his chest.
“I can’t do this anymore. I won’t do this anymore.“ Masa stated, his lips ghosting along Ren’s jaw as he spoke.
“So this is your vengeance, then. To pick me up & drop me. Well played.” Ren’s fingers tangled with his and he kissed Masa’s thumb.
“I wanted…” Masa looked away, obviously unsure how to word how he felt. “It doesn’t matter what I wanted. What I want right now is something you can’t give me.”
Ren let go of Masa’s hand. There wasn’t a thing in the world he imagined he couldn’t give.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about a blank slate.” Masa responded. He padded to his side of the room and climbed the step to his bed. His back was riddled with scratches and bites that were newly agitated by his shower. He stung too much for a shirt, so left his pants where they were, too.
“I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t. Everything you ever do is some sort of accomplishment in your mind. Every fuck a notch on the bedpost.”
“So you’re… ashamed?”
“No. Never.” Masa responded, as he sat on the edge of his bed, his legs folded underneath him. “We’re not that much alike.”
Ren’s eyes narrowed, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.
“I don’t want a history of pain. I want someone I can discover. Someone that can discover me. I need to feel loved, Jinguji. I need to be adored as much as you do… but I only need one person. Not the whole world.”
“I do ado…”
“Shut up. You don’t and I don’t want to hear it. There will be no more taunts, Jinguji. No more feigned friendship for meals. No more pencils rolling under the bed. This is over.”
“So, that’s it? You’re going to pretend you don’t care about me, forever?”
“I don’t have to pretend.” Masa responded. He idly wished he was holding a book or tea. His hands were shaking and he just wanted to have a way to keep them busy. “I’ll probably wish I was fucking you for the rest of my life. Every single time someone lays down with me, I’ll wish it was your fried hair breaking in my fingers. I’ll wish it was your husky voice begging me to be a little rougher. I’ll wish it was your skin ripping under my nails. …but I need someone gentle, Jinguji. I need someone to be gentle with.”
“Maybe you can’t be gentle. Maybe you’re a monster.”
“There’s a lamb out there that can tame me. I’ll find them.”
“You know I’ll never let that happen.”
“You’re welcome to try and stop it, but I won’t be denied the love of someone that actually knows what love is.”
Ren didn’t pretend to smile, then. He glared up at Masa, taking in the sight of him so confidently perched on his raised platform. So pristine, yet so full of poison. Ren had to admit that he’d been the one to inject the poison, but felt no guilt. They were equally tainted and their fates carefully twined. They would never be rid of each other and Ren wouldn’t let Masa find happiness while he continued to suffer. They were perfect for each other in all the wrong ways.
“I will devour any lost lamb that comes your way. We’ll die lonely beasts, together.”
Ren wanted to hold on to some fantasy that he’d always have someone around to inflict himself upon. He gave Masa some wicked grin as if they’d agreed to some grand challenge. He wanted to believe that they’d continue to clash in some eternal battle that always ended in rough pleasure. He didn’t know that Masa had really & truly moved on. He didn’t know that Masa would never touch with him, again. Ren had finally lost their game but had no idea.
Masa allowed it.
- Your Boundaries, My Limit